talkwordietome

Author: talkwordietome

I'm a wannabe hipster living in a Lily Pulitzer world. Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal and I aspire to be as socially awesome as Jessica Day. My favorite hobbies are binging on Netflix, reading in dark rooms, and acting wildly inappropriate with my best friends. Every morning should begin with coffee, and every night should end with a margarita. I believe in passion, in the moments in life you can't control. I think every girl should wear red, especially as a lipstick. I'm just a basic betch looking for her place in the world.

I know what you’re thinking, and it’s probably along the lines of a good eye roll and the words this bitch flashing through your mind. You’ll be happy to know that this is not another sad high school story about Miss Nancy No Friends not getting invited to the school dance—except it sort of is because that shit is gold. No matter what kind of story it is, it’s a true story, and one every girl can relate to. A story filled with murder and intrigue, seduction and affairs. It’s the story of Romance’s brutal demise, her untimely ending. The culprit: collegiate institutions, social media, Miley Cyrus, you and your phone and the awkwardness that is texting. I’m talking to you, honey. You, in your crop top with your half empty tequila bottle and your heart full of hope. We are the reason that romance is for suckers. Maybe I should explain: Continue reading “Romance is for Suckers” →

To Whom It May Concern:

As a senior in my last semester of college, I am anticipating a certain level of doom in finding a career in the real world. You know, where the adults live. Now—and I’m just assuming here—the real world is probably not filled with days of meaningful work and fabulous people, nor are the nights spent sipping casual cocktails on the arms of charming men. I’m assuming that the real world might be, gulp, actual work. I am graduating in May with a BFA in Creative Writing, a minor in English, and a certificate in publishing. In short, I am graduating college with an extensive knowledge of words. I know what you must be thinking: this girl doesn’t have to worry. In a world where a significant amount of my peers have trouble writing, and in more alarming cases, reading, companies should be beating down my door to offer me a job. Surely a college graduate, like myself, should be making decent money, and in a career of her choosing. Much to your surprise, this is not the case. If I wanted a life working reasonable hours and making decent pay, I should have majored in business. Who would have thought? Continue reading “The Cover Letter I Wish I Could Send” →