Confessions

This is My Mix Tape For You

 

mix tape drawing

I am not a music connoisseur. In fact, I think it’s a stretch to say that I even like music all that much. I know, I know. I have no soul. I’m un-American. I’m THE worst. I realized this unforgivable truth about myself at a time when all girls learn unforgivable truths about themselves: middle school.  Continue reading “This is My Mix Tape For You”

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Confessions

Dating Lord Voldemorts: The Appeal of the Bad Boy

bad-boys-do-it-better
OK, Abercrombie & Fitch. With a face like that, please tell me how much you’ve struggled.

There’s no denying that we’ve all done it at least once in our lives. Whether we’ve healed blocked it out with dove chocolate and bottles of Moscato, or simply written it off as a weird side effect of the birth control the doctor recommended—there’s no refuting it. We’ve all dated a Voldemort, a Sith Lord, a master of the dark arts, a Lord Disick. We’ve all dated at least one, or in my case, as many as would have me. There’s just something so appealing in dating the villain, the bad boy, the douche in the backwards hat. I’m not sure if it’s something in our DNA, a need to rebel at least once, to date a jackass and see if it’s really as passionate as The OC taught us it should be. Or if it’s something else all together. A typeContinue reading “Dating Lord Voldemorts: The Appeal of the Bad Boy”

Confessions

It’s Complicated: 10 Reasons Why Beyonce Sang It Right

Here’s the thing, in my time at college I’ve watched roommates, sorority sisters, best friends, and family members throw away the best years of their lives over a guy—myself included. There’s something in this Southern air that plays with our hormones and drives people absolutely insane over finding The One. Like the rest of those nut cases out there, I’ve never been good at being single either. Continue reading “It’s Complicated: 10 Reasons Why Beyonce Sang It Right”

Confessions

Romance is for Suckers

I know what you’re thinking, and it’s probably along the lines of a good eye roll and the words this bitch flashing through your mind. You’ll be happy to know that this is not another sad high school story about Miss Nancy No Friends not getting invited to the school dance—except it sort of is because that shit is gold. No matter what kind of story it is, it’s a true story, and one every girl can relate to. A story filled with murder and intrigue, seduction and affairs. It’s the story of Romance’s brutal demise, her untimely ending. The culprit: collegiate institutions, social media, Miley Cyrus, you and your phone and the awkwardness that is texting. I’m talking to you, honey. You, in your crop top with your half empty tequila bottle and your heart full of hope. We are the reason that romance is for suckers. Maybe I should explain:  Continue reading “Romance is for Suckers”

Confessions

The Cover Letter I Wish I Could Send

To Whom It May Concern:

As a senior in my last semester of college, I am anticipating a certain level of doom in finding a career in the real world. You know, where the adults live. Now—and I’m just assuming here—the real world is probably not filled with days of meaningful work and fabulous people, nor are the nights spent sipping casual cocktails on the arms of charming men. I’m assuming that the real world might be, gulp, actual work. I am graduating in May with a BFA in Creative Writing, a minor in English, and a certificate in publishing. In short, I am graduating college with an extensive knowledge of words. I know what you must be thinking: this girl doesn’t have to worry. In a world where a significant amount of my peers have trouble writing, and in more alarming cases, reading, companies should be beating down my door to offer me a job. Surely a college graduate, like myself, should be making decent money, and in a career of her choosing. Much to your surprise, this is not the case. If I wanted a life working reasonable hours and making decent pay, I should have majored in business. Who would have thought?  Continue reading “The Cover Letter I Wish I Could Send”